Rubio Lessons: Never Trust a Jonas Brother

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We don't need the dude from Lie to Me to tell us what Rubio is thinking.

When I was about 10, I was still convinced that I could play basketball in the NBA. I learned to dunk on my Nerf basketball hoop just like Vince Carter. I spent hours in my drive way, pretending to hit buzzer beaters. Suffice to say…if an NBA team had ever tried to lure me away from, well, just about anything, I would have dropped it like it was hot and moved to Minnesota, Charlotte, Alaska, Russia, or pretty much wherever they told me to be.

So maybe a part of me is just jealous of Ricky Rubio. Maybe.

But honestly, I can’t be the only one getting sick of the Rubio drama, right? The never-ending speculation? The waiting game? At this point, I feel like we are getting expertly led on by a girl who knows the game much better than we do, leaving us just interested enough to keep hope alive, but deep down, of course, fully aware that we have no chance in hell.

I started writing this piece several days ago, actually. The original title was Ricky Rubio: A Refresher. Included within the article were glowing reviews of Rubio’s court vision, defense, and addiction to no-look passes; all the reasons why Wolves fans should be excited. See, things were starting to look optimistic. Kahn had just visited Spain. NBA writers were speculating on how Rubio coming over would change up the draft. I caught myself frequently refreshing my Google news with the key word “Ricky Rubio” typed into the search bar. I’m guessing I wasn’t the only one.

Then, somewhere along the line, my Ricky positivity faded. I’m pretty sure it was around the time the draft lotto happened, and reminded us all that the Timberwolves are still the Timberwolves, and they still never catch a break. And Kahn stopped sounding optimistic, and started saying things like “I’ll talk about it when there’s news.” And Rubio decided that he didn’t want to ditch his Spanish League team during their playoff run, which sounds all well and good, until you consider that Rubio’s next series doesn’t end until June, and nobody really has any idea when David Kahn’s mystery timeline runs out on signing Rubio…including David Kahn. Not only that, but Rubio is a bench contributor at best on his Spanish League team. In their clinching game of the last series, Rubio played 19 minutes off the bench. Ricky! You are getting the same kind of playing time as Eric Maynor! They would survive without you!

Tangent: Is Rubio aware that the only way he doesn’t start on the Timberwolves is if he’s a European flop of Darko proportions? Or, as a matter of fact, that Darko actually started for the Wolves this year? (Insert the sound of Wolves fans weeping.)

Anyway, at this point, thanks to a badly worded clause in the CBA (see the fantastic Canis Hoopus link above), we don’t actually know when the Wolves have lost their opportunity to bring Rubio to the States, or when they could sign him if he was even interested. Speculation is running rampant that Kahn has to be considering trading Rubio, especially if Derrick Williams succeeds in his campaign to have Cleveland draft him second.

So which would be more frustrating: suffering through even more Rubio drama or seeing Kahn trade away the player we’ve been hoping and waiting to see in a Timberwolves uniform for the past two years?

You tell me. I’m tired of thinking about it. If you are looking for me, my Nerf basketball hoop is calling.