Dinner at Glen Taylor’s

Timberwolves forward Dante Cunningham tweeted out a picture of a team dinner at Glen Taylor’s house. The following is what I imagine took place.


It was a chilly fall Saturday in October and the Timberwolves had just wrapped up training camp. As goes the tradition, team owner Glen Taylor invited the team, coach Rick Adelman, and general manager David Kahn over for a celebratory dinner. The following was overheard as everyone found their place around the meal.

Taylor: Thanks everyone for coming, and for a great camp! I can’t wait to see the team in action on Wednesday. Now let’s—yes, Rick?

Adelman: Do I have to sit next to David?

Taylor: Yes. Can we all get along?

Kahn: Yes. I don’t see any problem with the seating arrangement, Glen.

Taylor: Good. Glad you all could make it—wait – where’s JJ?

Barea: Right here, boss!

Taylor: Where?

Barea: Where you told me to sit: between Greg Stiemsma and Lou Amundson.

Adelman: JJ, why don’t you sit here and I’ll sit over there?

Taylor: Nobody is going anywhere! You’ll all be fine there. Now, how about some college football while we eat. Which game do you want to watch? I have 900 channels, so you can watch whatever.

(Everyone starts talking over each other)

Kevin Love: UCLA-Cal! /high-fives Malcolm Lee

Chase Budinger: Wildcats!

Derrick Williams: Yeah, AU!

Ricky Rubio: Barca! /eye flutter

Love: That’s not real football!

Barea: Is too!

Luke Ridnour: *Makes an “O” with his hands for Oregon*

Brandon Roy and Will Conroy: Huskies, all day!

(Alexey Shved and Andrei Kirilenko have an exchange in Russian with confused looks on their faces.)

(Nikola Pekovic literally devours a butler out of frustration, low blood sugar, and an innate need to establish himself as the alpha male in a new environment.)

(Dante Cunningham Instagrams a picture of the scene)

Taylor: Ok, I’ll just put on the Ohio St.- Nebraska game since we’re in Big Ten country, we’re all going to be happy with that, and eat a nice meal. Agreed?

All: Fine…

Stiemsma: Yeah! On Wisconsin! Hey, Lou. Pass me the rolls?

Amundson: Sure. Here you- *thud*

Taylor: JJ! Are you alright? What’d you do Lou?

Amundson: Nothing, boss! I swear, I didn’t touch him.

Taylor: What do you have to say for yourself, JJ?

Barea: It wasn’t my fault! He elbowed me and I fell off of my chair!

Stiemsma: Come on, JJ…

Barea: Ok, fine. Old habits die hard.

Taylor (To himself): Next year I’m ordering pizza in the dorms…

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About Derek James

In addition to writing for Howlin' T-Wolf, Derek James writes about basketball Hardwood Paroxysm in the ESPN TrueHoop Network and covers the Charlotte Bobcats for SB Nation’s Rufus on Fire. Andray Blatche and Isaiah Rider follow him on Twitter.